Questions such as who are you, what have you been through, what pain and heartache are you going through make counselling an individual and personal process.
Counselling is a very individual process, no two clients are alike, and therefore there is 'no one size fits all' approach to counselling. A person has their own unique feelings and conflicts and fears and whilst there may be some similarities between the issues of two people, the origins of such issues and the ways in which each person is affected by their issues can be very different. Questions such as who are you, what have you been through, what pain and heartache are you going through make counselling an individual and personal process. My approach to counselling acknowledges therefore the uniqueness of each person and the acknowledgement that a person’s pain is deeply personal and often very painful.
Generally I tend not to give advice, or convey the illusion that I have an expertise in the emotional and mental health of another person. I do offer support and accompaniment and try to be compassionate in response to what a person is struggling with. So it is very much collaboration between myself and the other person, both of us involved in creating the healing and change that is necessary for greater well being and peace of mind.
The route to achieve this will vary from person to person and is influenced by factors such as personality, circumstances, personal history, readiness to change, personal resources and self awareness. A person may not be able or feel ready to change the circumstances of their life, but through expressing the emotions and thoughts concerning their problems, they can come to healthier perspectives that bring ease and acceptance. If change is possible to external circumstances (for example leaving a relationship), counselling can offer support to make this change more bearable, more possible. In any event, counselling can be a source of comfort and reassurance whilst the process of change is taking place in whatever form than manifests itself for the individual person.
The Person-Centered Approach
It is my intention to help a person to feel safe, to encourage them to trust me, to understand and accept them as they explore their thoughts, feelings and sources of conflict.
My way of working is influenced by the Person Centered Approach (Carl Rogers). This approach to counselling is built upon the relationship between the counsellor and the client. It is therefore very important to me that the values inherent within the relationship include trust, safety, acceptance, empathy and sincerity. It is my intention to help a person to feel safe, to encourage them to trust me, to understand and accept them as they explore their thoughts, feelings and sources of conflict.
There may be occasions when I can offer insight or suggest some methods of coping. For example, I am very interested in the spiritual aspects of a person and where appropriate I may encourage spiritual practice and resources such as mediation, self care, prayer, reading, refuge and nature as resources to assist in healing and recovery.
For the past thirteen years I have been providing individual counselling to adults and adolescents. Many people who seek counselling do so with a particular problem in mind. It has been my experience that the initial issue can broaden as counselling proceeds to include other difficulties and challenges. In other words, people are often surprised that once they begin to discuss a particular issue, other concerns can also arise out of the safety of being heard and understood.